nice article on Law.com.
Well. That's not great news, now is it. The best thing a story like this can do is discourage people who aren't really sure they want to be attorneys. Me? I'm sure this is what I want to do. And I'm getting more and more sure every day that I am going to be really good at it. Of course that doesn't mean there will be employment out there for me, but I'm kind of hoping it does.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
The Tide is Turning...
Yay! My wife is coming home after being away for what seems like a very, very long time.
***
As you have probably noticed from reading my posts this semester, it has been a rough start to the year. There's been the problematic OCI process. There's been the stress of law school, compounded by the way I formed my schedule this semester. There's been the fact that I did not do well on the skills exercise. It has been rough. And it will be rough again. But. I think the tide has turned.
I have had two skills challenges since the poor performance mentioned in my last post. And they have both gone very well. I was so happy after the first one, but I was even more happy after this past one. The first was a cross examination, which felt easier. In a cross examination, you ask the questions in a way so that you know the answer you're going to get. So, if you're not sure of the answer, you just don't ask the question. And you put your questions together in a way to make your points for you. You're doing all the heavy lifting. On a direct, you know the answer to the questions, but you're not doing any of the work. You're just asking questions so your witness can tell a story. That's it. But somehow you have to maintain control. And that's where I get nervous. But this last one went well. Really well. So good.
A lot of work went into those two exercises. I met with a super generous professor here who gave me advice that ranged from basic (don't stand like that, stand like this) to advanced (develop your own style, but feel free to steal from others if you can make it work for you). And it really helped. I can't believe just changing how I stood could have such an effect on me. And you're all thinking I'm crazy while you read this. But it's the damned truth. I had been standing two hands on the podium, facing down the judge and witness and holding on for dear life. But the professor mentioned that he liked to stand with one hand on the podium and use it as sort of an anchor. And BAM! As soon as I tried, I felt so much more comfortable. It corrected my posture and my footwork. I was able to move, but it was much less noticeable. Plus I just felt more comfortable. It was natural. A lot of my fidgeting went away and that solved a lot of my self-consciousness.
In addition to the meeting, I made a couple other changes. I outlined my presentation instead of scripting it providing much needed flexibility and trusting in my ability to know what I needed to get. And I started thinking of it as a presentation. Because that's what it is. It's storytelling. A cousin of theater. And I'm just a performer trying to make a point for my client.
After this past one, I felt so much better. Like I know how to do this. Not at an expert level, but I've got the basics and I want to keep getting better. And being able to do it twice in a row felt so good.
***
Things are going to be busy for a little bit here. I've got a midterm coming up, then an application for a moot court, then an application for a campus thing. And that's on top of a pretty heavy reading load this week. But that's not feeling quite as bad as I think it would have earlier in the year.
I'm not sure exactly when it happened, but my head seems to have cleared. And I'm focused in a way that I was most of last year. I'm still thinking about what I want to take next semester, and considering what I'm going to do with my summer, but I'm pretty confident that I can get it all figured out. I'm not exactly sure when, but sometime soonish. I'm in my rhythm. And it's gonna be best for me if I can ride this out for a bit.
***
The Cardinals are playing game 6 tonight. I'm really hopeful that they can extend the series to 7 games and then win.
But even should that not happen, I have to say this has been a wonderful post-season. Much more than I expected or could have asked for. It's been a nice reprieve from the thoughts of doubt that had been dominating my mind, and honestly probably a big reason I feel so much better.
I know sports shouldn't matter so much that they can determine your mood, and I certainly don't get down as much after a loss as I used to. But I like that like them winning means something to me. This year has made me question a lot about where I'm going, what I'm doing, whether I can do it, and especially who I am. Baseball sometimes reminds me of who I am.
It's not rational. But it's no less true.
During Albert Pujols' magical Game 3, I was just Joe again. I wasn't a law student worried about my next exam, or my skills challenges. I was me, not weighed down with all of it. It was all there, but I didn't feel the weight of it for a little while. And then when I did feel the burden of all the things I needed to get done, they weren't as heavy. It's not rational. But it's beautiful.
***
As you have probably noticed from reading my posts this semester, it has been a rough start to the year. There's been the problematic OCI process. There's been the stress of law school, compounded by the way I formed my schedule this semester. There's been the fact that I did not do well on the skills exercise. It has been rough. And it will be rough again. But. I think the tide has turned.
I have had two skills challenges since the poor performance mentioned in my last post. And they have both gone very well. I was so happy after the first one, but I was even more happy after this past one. The first was a cross examination, which felt easier. In a cross examination, you ask the questions in a way so that you know the answer you're going to get. So, if you're not sure of the answer, you just don't ask the question. And you put your questions together in a way to make your points for you. You're doing all the heavy lifting. On a direct, you know the answer to the questions, but you're not doing any of the work. You're just asking questions so your witness can tell a story. That's it. But somehow you have to maintain control. And that's where I get nervous. But this last one went well. Really well. So good.
A lot of work went into those two exercises. I met with a super generous professor here who gave me advice that ranged from basic (don't stand like that, stand like this) to advanced (develop your own style, but feel free to steal from others if you can make it work for you). And it really helped. I can't believe just changing how I stood could have such an effect on me. And you're all thinking I'm crazy while you read this. But it's the damned truth. I had been standing two hands on the podium, facing down the judge and witness and holding on for dear life. But the professor mentioned that he liked to stand with one hand on the podium and use it as sort of an anchor. And BAM! As soon as I tried, I felt so much more comfortable. It corrected my posture and my footwork. I was able to move, but it was much less noticeable. Plus I just felt more comfortable. It was natural. A lot of my fidgeting went away and that solved a lot of my self-consciousness.
In addition to the meeting, I made a couple other changes. I outlined my presentation instead of scripting it providing much needed flexibility and trusting in my ability to know what I needed to get. And I started thinking of it as a presentation. Because that's what it is. It's storytelling. A cousin of theater. And I'm just a performer trying to make a point for my client.
After this past one, I felt so much better. Like I know how to do this. Not at an expert level, but I've got the basics and I want to keep getting better. And being able to do it twice in a row felt so good.
***
Things are going to be busy for a little bit here. I've got a midterm coming up, then an application for a moot court, then an application for a campus thing. And that's on top of a pretty heavy reading load this week. But that's not feeling quite as bad as I think it would have earlier in the year.
I'm not sure exactly when it happened, but my head seems to have cleared. And I'm focused in a way that I was most of last year. I'm still thinking about what I want to take next semester, and considering what I'm going to do with my summer, but I'm pretty confident that I can get it all figured out. I'm not exactly sure when, but sometime soonish. I'm in my rhythm. And it's gonna be best for me if I can ride this out for a bit.
***
The Cardinals are playing game 6 tonight. I'm really hopeful that they can extend the series to 7 games and then win.
But even should that not happen, I have to say this has been a wonderful post-season. Much more than I expected or could have asked for. It's been a nice reprieve from the thoughts of doubt that had been dominating my mind, and honestly probably a big reason I feel so much better.
I know sports shouldn't matter so much that they can determine your mood, and I certainly don't get down as much after a loss as I used to. But I like that like them winning means something to me. This year has made me question a lot about where I'm going, what I'm doing, whether I can do it, and especially who I am. Baseball sometimes reminds me of who I am.
It's not rational. But it's no less true.
During Albert Pujols' magical Game 3, I was just Joe again. I wasn't a law student worried about my next exam, or my skills challenges. I was me, not weighed down with all of it. It was all there, but I didn't feel the weight of it for a little while. And then when I did feel the burden of all the things I needed to get done, they weren't as heavy. It's not rational. But it's beautiful.
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