Less stressing....(Kind of)

Sorry for the no-post last week.
I'm trying to do some bigger changes in my habits. Nothing huge, mind you, but some things I feel I need to get a handle on before I have kids (which won't be for two years probably, mom. Sorry).
The first of these things is my weight. Since the wedding, I've (somewhat surprisingly) maintained my weight. My running has become a lot less enthusiastic as I sort of expected. So, I talked to my wife about it and we've set goals for ourselves and our health. I'm planning on cutting another 26 or so pounds off my gut, hopefully by Thanksgiving. That'll still put my a bit above my "recommended weight" which makes me feel woefully obeese, but I guess I'll have to get the 26 off either way. So, I'll get it off and see how it looks.
The thing is, I'm probably never going to be a poster boy for fitness or health. I enjoy eating and drinking too much to really ever be as fit as is apparently recommended. But. I need to get better.
The second thing I'm trying to get a better grasp of is my temper. As most of you probably know, I have a bad temper. I let things get to me and after a while of taking stuff in, I vent in somewhat unhealthy ways. I don't want to get into it too much (mostly because I find it embarassing that a thirty-year-old man gets so bent out of shape by stuff he considers stupid and inane), but it's something I've needed to get a handle on for a long time.* So, I'm working on this.
*Note. In 5th grade, the teacher pulled me aside and talked to me about my temper. He said that if I didn't watch it the upperclassmen at McCombs (where I was a Trojan) would "beat me into the ground." I think he told me this after I got into a fight with another 5th grader (I wanna say Troy Donahoe, but I'm not sure. ), while playing soccer**. Truthfully, he was right, it was something I need(ed) to work on, but if it was Troy (and I'm starting to feel sure it was), then he probably he had it coming. He was kind of a dick.
**Note to Note. We didn't play soccer. We played a game of tackle the guy with the soccer ball while the teachers don't pay attention. Oh, sure there were still goals and score was kept, but it wasn't soccer. It was still competitive though. And the teams were for all year. I was on Ryan's (can't remember his last name. He moved away before I got to middle school) team in third grade. And everyday we took on Danny Soda's team. (Which is the greatest name in the history of names.) I remember one day I scored the winning goal and Danny Soda knocked me down and picked me up by the legs and swung me around in a circle a couple times before tossing me a couple feet. I was a heavy kid, too. Anyhoo.
Mostly my temper is a problem at work, where I feel unappreciated and taken for granted (you know, like most everyone). So, I'm working on it. I was doing great last week until Friday. The long weekend before certainly helped put me in a better frame of mind, but even that couldn't get me through a whole (short) week.
I'm trying the deep breathes. I'm trying perspective. I'm even trying giving people the finger under my desk (which sort of works, but makes me almost giggle everytime, so I think people think I'm losing my mind. Which is maybe okay. I'm not sure yet). But thus far, I haven't found a truly dependable way to get through the stress without getting myself all worked up. I think just trying is making it easier and easier though, so hopefully I'll get the hang of it.
The last of the things that I feel like I need out of the way before my children come into this world, (and probably the hardest to figure out and deal with in a way that I will find satisfying-because, you know, it depends on someone else a great deal) is my father.
I've been listening to the Writer's Almanac Podcast everyday for a while now. Seems like a tangent, but the Writer's Almanac, as Garrison Keeler points out at the end of every podcast is sponsored by the Fetzer Institute who is now on a Campaign of Love and Forgiveness. Now, I haven't poked around enough to figure out how I'm going to work things out, or even what sort of time table I want to work on, but I have looked enough to know I no longer want to carry around the anger I have for him. It's odd. I didn't miss him for one second of the wedding, even though I thought I would. But, almost every other day, I think about him. And I wish he hadn't made the decisions he made. And I wish that at least he should have been honest with me. And if I let it, I can feel it all wash over me again and I can hate him anew. And I want to yell and scream and probably punch him in the stomach. (See, that temper thing I'm working on still needs work.) But I don't want to feel that way anymore. I don't want to be that guy. And I certainly don't want my kids to see that example and think that's the best way to deal with people. (You know, like I learned by watching my Dad. But, I digress.) Yeah.
So, yeah. A lot of changes I'm going to try and make. It's good. Change is good. At least these changes.
Anyway, I hope all is going well for everyone else.