Reunions

This weekend was my tenth college reunion.

Yeah. I am old.

I was really looking forward to spending time with everyone. Ever since our move from Chicago, I have been feeling more than a little bit lonely. See, about six months after I graduated from Grinnell, I moved to Chicago. It was where a lot of my college friends moved. And despite not having a job, it was where i wanted to go. In the last three or four years, a lot of my friends moved away from Chicago and, as you no doubt know, I moved away.

And I'm loving St. Paul and the many possibilities I think are ahead of me now. But, I'm also missing the hell out of my friends. I don't think I realized how much until I was on campus and seeing everyone again. I used to see everyone almost every week, and often more than that. And now, I'm waiting for classes to start. (10 weeks to go!) And waiting isn't so bad, but it's not really a good way to get involved and meet people or make new friends. And related to the waiting is the fact that I haven't gotten myself into any sort of productive rhythem. Sometimes without that pressure to do things, I find myself unable to motivate myself. But something about this weekend really charged my batteries and made me so much more excited about getting to work again.

Another thing I reallly liked about reunion was how many people who are also going back to school. See, I know going back to school is what I have to do for myself and for my wife and (future) family. I know this is what I have to do to be happy and to have a chance at feeling like I have a fulfiling job. But. I have also been nursing this feeling that I am something of a failure for not realizing sooner, or acting sooner, to make things happen sooner. I mean, I know that this is my path. This is how I went, and I don't really have any regrets. But, I know too that things would've been easier if I had figured it out sooner. Of course, easy isn't that easy. But I found it reassuring that there were others in my class who were also heading back to school.

Being back at Grinnell and seeing my old friends also reminded me of how far I have come from where I was at 10 years ago. I have a lot more confidence right now and I feel more at ease about a lot of things. No doubt this is due to my wife's influence on me and the fact that I'm excited about law school. Whatever the reasons though, I am (mostly) happy now. And that's a big difference.

The only dissappointment was that some great people couldn't go. They were sorely missed.

Anyway. I can't wait until the next time my friends and I can get together. I'm hoping to see most everyone before the year is out. Perhaps a New Year's get-together?

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A general note on reunions. My father's family often has a reunion in August. This year it lands on the weekend before I start law school. Everyone gets together in South Dakota and it's generally a nice time. I have not gone in 6 or 7 years, because of the problems I've been having with my father. This year my father is really excited that I should go and I'm a little leary. Paritially because I know the situation with my father is still uncomfortable, but more because I just want to relax the weekend before law school starts. And while I have a fine time at these reunions, I know I'm not going to feel the same recharge as the one I felt after the Grinnell reunion.

Which leads me to think. Reunions are supposed to be about seeing people and reminding you of old times. But, I also think it's supposed to remind you of who you are. Because usually you only have a reunion with people or at places that mean something to you and who you think you are. I've known for a while that I didn't feel very familiar with my family (both sides, really). What I wasn't fully aware of was how much I really think of my friends as family. And I think that's what I need more of.