The average.

So far in law school all of the grades I've been given have just been numbers. And then I'm given a number that represents the average. And that's it. I've been left to draw my own conclusions about what my number means in comparison to the average number. Will this put me in the top 25%, or the bottom 25%? What grade does this translate into? Does this mean I know the law, or not? Will I be able to get a job if this is the kind of law student or attorney I am? It's not really a statement on how well I understand the law, although it does invite me to draw my own conclusions.
And really, I find it kind of frustrating. I don't know from one assignment to the next whether I'm improving. I only know where I am in that particular moment in relation to everyone else. And I guess that's nice, but it's not what I feel like I need to know. I feel like I need to know that I'm understanding on an absolute plain, not in relation to everyone else. I don't know if I'll ever get to know that really. I mean, honestly, grades probably don't really ever tell you that. So, I don't know.
I guess I'm hoping I can find a place where there is solid ground. Where I know where I stand and how I'm doing. I mean, it would be even better if I knew I was doing really well, but that's a lot to ask. I know that's probably a lot to ask being that I just started school this past summer and I haven't even really done a full semester. But. Man. It would be really refreshing right now.