New stuff...

1. Being unemployed sucks.
You probably knew that, but I thought it worth reiterating and expounding. It sucks for all the things you would think. The not having money. The feelings of aimlessness and worthlessness. These you could probably guess at.
But there are other things that suck about it too. I don't know if it's just me, but I don't feel bad about being unemployed. And that makes me feel bad. I don't miss my work. At least the work I've had in the past. They were growing experiences and I don't really regret them, but if I had the choice between those jobs and what I'm doing now (which is waiting for a temp gig to start and going to school and maybe getting a volunteer opportunity), I would chose this. And I feel really guilty about it.
I feel guilty for blogging (though I haven't done that much). I feel guilty for using my time to read anything that isn't schoolwork and I feel guilty if I go running or something that makes my feel better.
So, I don't let myself do any of them. It's like I have to punish myself. Not quite hairshirt-type punishment, I'll grant, but this is how my subconcious works. When I had to spend a day at the unemployment office, I hated it of course, but I also sort of felt this is what I deserve. It's not like the firing itself was bad enough for my transgressions (being paid too much to do stupid crap), I should go to this office and be treated like an utter loser devoid of any standing in the community other than that of a drain.
This is how my mind works...and it's not good. But there you go.
2. I'll be 31 very soon. Not nearly as momentous or daunting as last year, but it's still worth noting, I am not dead.
3. I'm going to endeavor to keep this blog more current than I have during what I will now call "the dark period", except for an upcoming trip to Thailand.
4. This point is mostly for anyone in Thailand who has some pull. Um. I'm glad the airports have been vacated by protestors. That's a plus. But, if you guys could have your government together and settled by the time my wife and I go there for our honeymoon, that'd be super. I'm not saying go to an dictatorship or anything drastic, just, you know, kind of have it decided and non-voilent and western-loving (or at least western-money-loving) by the time we get there and for the duration of our stay, that'd work well for me. It's maybe a little sad that I'd be okay with a little less democracy for the Thai people if it means my honeymoon can be relaxing (for me), but hey, if the last 8 years have taught me anything it's to sell out rights for comfort. And well, these aren't even my rights, so I can care even less, right?
5. Despite the above rantings, I am okay. I'm not happy, but I'm not morose. I'm enduring. And hey, I'm going to Thailand in a bit, so things aren't so bad.