Last weekend, Dinah and I went back to Michigan for a wedding. Oddly enough it's the first wedding I've been to since my own. And I have to say, weddings are so much more fun when they're not yours. Which isn't to say my wedding wasn't fun--it was a lot of fun. It's just that there was so much going on--so many people I should thank for schlepping to Iowa, so many things to think about, just so much going on. It can be really intense. And indeed, it was intense for me. I remember the day after the wedding, I felt just stunned. Like everything was good. I was happy. But I was mentally exhausted and a little in disbelief that I had taken such a huge step in my life.
But someone else's wedding? That's just fun. You don't have to worry about whether the flowers turned out right. Or that your family is being weird. Or that parts of your family decided at the last minute not to make it. Or that the linnens aren't quite as you pictured them. Or that there's been a change and you have to leave the reception hall earlier than you thought. You just get to eat, dance and try to talk to people, but without the pressure of feeling that you have to enjoy every minute--that you have to take it all in and remember everything.
This is, of course, because it's not your moment. It's someone else's. And just knowing that was such a relief to me.
But there's another side to going to someone else's wedding. Not only was I a little relieved to not be the center of attention. I felt proud of being married. See I think a wedding (a good wedding, anyway) makes everyone not only celebrate the couple being married, but also makes you celebrate your relationship. (Or it makes you wish you were in a relationship like the one you're seeing formally solidified.) And this was a really good wedding.
There's something about watching people commit in a public way that makes you remember the good things about the wedding day. The first dance, awkward but sweet. How Dinah and I went to the reception hall before the ceremony, after the pictures were taken, and danced quickly then. Getting a drink with my friends at the gas station in town. The night before the wedding where I didn't drink too much (somehow). It was a great weekend.
Still. I could go for some more weddings some time soon.
*Note 1. I went to a couple weddings like this after college, when I was still single. Instead of feeling depressed about being single, I felt hope. Which was nice.
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