Grades...

Grades came in last week.

As you know if you've been reading for a while, I don't want to discuss my grades. I've heard other people talking about their grades--like actually stating what they got--and I really find it off-putting. I don't want to talk about my grades. But.

I really want to talk about my grades. Not how I did so much as how I feel about them. Which is almost abstract enough that you wouldn't need to know what I got in order to relate to what I'm saying. Right?

Anyway. So, I feel pretty good about how things turned out. I wasn't happy with all of them, but I was happy with enough of them. So, it's not what I got that bothers me. What bothers me is, what do they mean?

They don't really measure what I know. I mean, they do in some way. You can't do well on an exam without having some knowledge and ability. Probably. But when you involve the curve, then the letters you're assigned don't even intend to signify what you learned. They mean to signify how you stand in relation to the rest of your class. They're meant to sort you into a class ranking, so that prospective employers can look at your grades quickly and decide what they mean about you. But that doesn't really tell me what they mean.

And maybe that's not important, but I still feel those grades. I feel them as clearly as a proclamation. They're either telling me I'm not working hard enough, or that I'm not going to be a good attorney. Or they're telling me I'm doing okay. I'm on the right track. Or maybe they're saying you are lucky. One answer changed on a multiple choice test, or one magic word missing from an essay, and I could be higher or lower.

Grades are arbitrary.

And yet they are important. They're important to prospective employers, and considering that it's time to start thinking about summer employment, that means they're important. So. I guess that's all there is. Blah.