Thursday, August 19, 2010

Chrome heart shining

I'm about 10 minutes from getting up from the library desk and heading up to the third floor for my first law school class. Don't worry, I will not be posting like this for every class. But I thought, this is big. Really big. Like, I'm not sure if I'm gonna throw up big.
Getting out of the rut I'd gotten myself into career-wise has been a very scary thing. Fear of failure and thoughts about what that would mean for me, for my family and for my mental well-being seem to pop out of every thought I have. Which is obviously nerve-wracking. But. It's also good. It points out why I'm doing it and why I've got to just sit my ass down and do the work.
And, I think I can do it. After a week of reading through things and reviewing and re-reviewing things, I think I've got a system that will work for me. I mean, I don't know that yet, because I haven't stepped into a classroom. But at least I have this moment of confidence, even if it's temporary and does not feel like all that much to hold onto right now.
As I was getting dressed after my shower, I turned on some music and on came Neil Young. Long May You Run. I almost started crying. Although these changes have come with your chrome heart shining in the sun, long may you run.
Perfect song for the day.

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